My mother has always told me about how stubborn I was as a child. Of course, who would believe that now with as sweet and easy-going as I am today? I actually remember a few times when I was younger and I would get in trouble for something, being grounded to my room for 10 minutes. The rule was I had to stay in my room for 10 minutes before I was allowed to come out. I remember being determined to "win" this battle with my mom. Knowing how smart and tricky I was, I would stick a finger or a toe out the door so that then I could get away with not "really" being in my room for 10 minutes. This determination on my part would get me an extra 10 minutes added on every time my mom saw me with an appendage out the door. I remember on at least a few occasions being stuck in my room the entire day.
Today Ella has been in her room sitting on her bed for going on 4 hours now, all because she doesn't want to tell her mommy and daddy sorry for screaming at us. I think it has been harder on me than it has been on her. She is happy every time we go in there until we ask her to say she is sorry and it starts all over again. Is it really worth it?
All I keep thinking is that those people are right when they say, "What goes around, comes around."
9 comments:
Oh, man, this is my future, I'm sure of it!! Good job sticking with it!!
Wow, you know I love you, but I have to say four hours seems a little harsh for a two year old. I don't think a two year old can remember why they are in "time out" for longer than 5 minutes. That being said, I know that we are all just trying to figure out what's best for our kids/families so good luck in that journey. It is definately not easy, but there is nothing better than being a mom.
Just to clarify Mares, she hasn't been just left in her room by herself for 4 hours striaght. She was just in a 2 minute time out on the chair. . .we went to get her and asked her why she was in time out. She replied, "because I screamed" we asked her to say she was sorry, and she wouldn't and screamed some more. So we told her she was has 2 minutes more for screaming again. It just went on from there and was a series of 2 minute time outs--ending up on her bed because we didn't want to hear her scream anymore. (She also fell asleep for about 2 hours of it.) She would tell us why she was in time out and what she needed to do to come out each time we went in there. She just didn't want to say sorry, becasue she was still upset with us. She finally gave in, told us she was sorry and came out laughing and smiling right after I posted this post! She is just a stubborn one, like me I suppose!
I hope that makes me sound like less of a crazy parent?
You see--all those timeouts you kept piling on yourself--and the way I reacted to it, are the reasons you are so easy-going and pleasant today!!!! Ella does sound as stubborn as you. Perhaps Maggie will have a different temperament--or at least remember what she saw her sister go through. Can't wait to see all of you guys! See you Saturday. Mom
Disciplining is a tough one to figure out. I have some advice my mom gave me and was backed up by my studies in my degree. I learned that you shouldn't force a child to say sorry because ... They aren't sorry. The time outs are to make them think about what they had just done. And then the timeouts serve, as they get older, as a tool to make them think twice before doing something naughty. And then when the child is old enough to truly feel remorse. (they say about 5 years of age) Then you make sure they are saying they are sorry. I don't mean not to teach them to say sorry, but I learned never to force it. Or the opposite will happen and not only will they not be sorry they will have negative feelings attatched to the situation. Good luck with the terrible two's. It only gets worse from here. But have you noticed as the bad times get worse the good times get even better? You gotta love parenting.
Hahaha! My mom says I deserve my kids as well. Kaylee is so incredibly stubborn and Taylor is ADHD. Not sure what surprise Chandler will pull out. Taylor was stuck on his "time out stair" for an hour one day for the same reason. He says, "mind your own business" and "punch you in the face". He was on his stair for a series of 3 minute time outs. You just have to take a deep breath and keep doing what you are doing.
Heather, just fyi I back you up on this one! I think teaching kids to say sorry is important not only when they can feel remorse (which in my experience happens before age two) but because saying sorry is part of the repentance process. Keep up the good work!
Hey Heather! It's Heidi (Wolters), one of Marianne and Courtney's friend. Not sure if you remember me. Anyway, I saw your blog from Courtney's and check it from time to time. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are doing a good job. You know the best way to discipline your children. I really dislike it when others try to tell me what I am doing wrong when no one else has ever been in my exact situation. No one else knows them like you! And what works for one might not work for another. So keep on doing what you know is best. How do you like Virginia? We used to live in Herndon (N. VA.)
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